Some Marine Corps jokesters are circulating a Top 10 list for Bagram air base in Afghanistan on how to make living conditions better in the combat zone. The list comes in response to an article in The Washington Times. It told of photographs produced by two Air Force sergeants on the austere base: long chow lines, dusty roads, few recreational facilities and rationed bottled water. The Air Force declined to comment. A spokesman for U.S. Central Command, which runs the war in Afghanistan, said conditions are improving weekly.
Here is the Marines’ list: “TOP 10 AIR FORCE COMPLAINTS OVERHEARD AT BAGRAM AIRBASE:
10: Toilet seats aren’t the puffy kind.
9: Vichyssoise made with Idaho potatoes instead of russet.
8: Poor quality carpet padding used in offices.
7: Air conditioners only rated at 600 BTUs.
6: Showtime, not HBO.
5: BDUs [battle dress uniforms] make airmen look fat.
4: No wine list at dining facility.
3: How come the Army guys get those nice berets?
2: Must those jets be so loud?
1: Hey, that guy in the turban is trying to kill me!