Go to the ER

If you’re ever called and asked what to do in and emergency, just say “go to the ER”. It works for everyone, receptionist to specialist.

You fell and scraped your hand? Go to the ER.

You’re on 47 medicines, have 11 active problems, I’ve been your doctor for 22 years, and you have the exact same thing I’ve admitted you for the last 17 times? Go to the ER. I won’t call to tell them anything about you.

You’re in my office and have high blood pressure without symptoms? Go to the ER. Here’s a list of tests you shouldn’t go home without, including renal artery MRA’s.

You have vague neurologic symptoms that have no basis in anatomy or known medical science? Go to the ER, and tell the ER doc you need an MRI. Tonight.

It’s 2PM, you’re in my office with a fracture? Take your unsplinted fracture to the ER, and have them call me so I can refer your fracture care to the orthopedist next door.

I’ll always have a job.

Many thanks to James Lileks for spurring me to this post.

Talking Turkey

I’m not sure what to be more pissed about: Turkey wanting 30 Billion Dollars, or our offering 26 Billion Dollars.

According to CNN, the Turkish Government wants $30 BN, with $10 BN in cold hard cash, and the US is offering $26 BN, with $6 BN in cash, and it isn’t enough. Are you kidding me? For the dirty job of crushing a tyrant on their border (armed with chem, bio, and maybe even nuclear weapons), and incidentally preventing an independent Kurdistan when the war starts, protecting them from military retaliation, keeping the Iraqi Republican Guard from ‘escaping’ into Syria, $26 BN isn’t enough. Aarrrghh.

The taxpayer in me says ?WHAT? This is on top of the no doubt substantial cash we pay to keep US fighters patrolling the no-fly zones of the Iraqi North out of our bases in Turkey, to an ally we have wrangled NATO into at least planning to defend, and they want HOW MUCH?

I need someone to explain to me how an ally, one we have stood with for decades, thinks they need Billions of Dollars to ‘host’ (give, temporarily, useless land in terrible geography, which we will develop into useful troop quarters, which we will leave in better condition than we found it, with all the facilities intact) our troops, which will be fighting to rid them of the crack house next door and generally clean up the neighborhood. And they want the SWAT team to pay them to cross the lawn.

Why aren’t they offering us money for the same service? I haven’t any idea. Perhaps you do?

Update: that’s $750,000 per American. Wow.