“Write better emails. Make more moneys.”
3rd Annual Nigerian EMail Conference
In case you wondered whether this was an organized conspiracy…
Preliminary* List of Events
As in the past, this conference has something for everyone. You will hear presentations by
some of the world’s leading Nigerian Email businessmen and businesswomen.Following are just a few of the many events that are scheduled.
Breakfast Kickoff Session:
Your choice: A hard boiled egg, or two slices of white bread and a cricket.Keynote Address:
Dr. Hamza Kalu’s adds some historical perspective in his keynote address: “From Postal Scams To Email Scams: We Have Come a Long Way Infant Child.”Debate:
Attend a lively debate between Lady Mariam Abacha and Mr. Godwin Oyathelem. Topic: “The effectiveness of using all UPPERCASE characters.”Practical Discussion:
Mallam Mahmud Abacah answers the question, “Are 10 million emails a day too many?”
* The actual schedule of events and participants depends on various trial outcomes and extradition hearings.
Hahahaha.
via Cut to Cure
Competition:
Other countries are now adapting our business. Is this a threat or an opportunity?
Tech Session:
Mrs. M Sese-Seko reveals valuable secrets in her session titled, “Those Pesky Email Headers”
Commerce:
Find out how banking systems throughout the world operate — with special emphasis on money transfers.
Linguistics:
Damn, spam, scam, sham. And more rhymes in the “sticks and stones” category.
Telecommunications:
Soliciting via cell phone text messaging: Can it work?
Accounting:
The taxman he’s a comin’: Keeping good and accurate records.
Open Discussion:
We will resume last year’s high-spirited discussion of unionization, including health benefits.
Workshop:
Grammatical errors: What’s the optimal number?
Statistics:
Dr. Kayode Naiyeju presents his ground-breaking research: “Analyzing response rates using analysis of variance: That pesky R-squared value,” as published in The Nigerian Journal of Applied Statistics.
Economics:
A round table discussion: Is email now Nigeria’s top export?
For Newcomers:
View an entertaining PowerPoint presentation that describes how to get started in this lucrative business, with no initial investment!
Hand-on Session:
Experts critique your emails, and offer valuable tips.
