FDA Approves Prescription Placebo

The Onion | FDA Approves Sale Of Prescription Placebo

“For years, scientists have been aware of the effectiveness of placebo in treating a surprisingly wide range of conditions,” said Dr. Jonathan Bergen of the FDA’s Center for Drug Evaluation and Research. “It was time to provide doctors with this often highly effective option.”

“For years, I battled with strange headaches that surfaced during times of stress,” Kohler said. “Doctors repeatedly turned me away empty-handed, or suggested that I try an over-the-counter pain reliever?as if that would be strong enough. Finally, I heard about Sucrosa. They said, ‘This will work,’ and it worked. The headaches are gone.”

As industry analysts predict the drug’s sales will top $25 billion in the first year, the approval of placebo is expected to unleash one of the pharmaceutical industry’s biggest marketing battles to date.

Finally, a drug I’d be glad to prescribe.

via Cut to Cure


  1. John Anderson says:

    Does this mean I can claim my M&M?’s as medication for the IRS?

  2. If you can get a doc to prescribe them, I suppose so!

    Hehe. Thanks for the post.

  3. This is priceless…and I have a sneaking suspicion that if it really were released as a “medicine,” an awfully large number of people would buy it.

    Hell, they’re paying big $$$ for that “coral calcium” crap, so why not sugar?

  4. Too funny! I hope it receives formulary approval soon. R&D must have been costly… ;)