Best EMS Chief Complaint of the night

Last night, an exasperated Paramedic made the following call in to med control: “we’re bringing in a 30y/o male with a mosquito bite on his butt”. When asked for details, like vital signs, etc, the reply was “I’ll tell you when we get there”, in a tone that communicated a lot more than the words.

Yes, Virginia, people call the ambulance for all manner of complaints; most are reasonable, but some are just stupid. Like people, I suppose.