I have thought about the overcrowding in my ED and about ways to solve, or at least mitigate it. As there are several medical visionaries who read this blog (and the rest will probably need an ED someday), so I’m looking for constructive criticism.
First, I propose the ED Lobby Vending Machine™, which will have the following: Hydrocodone, Amoxicillin and Work Excuses. They’ll be in single day packs, the machines will accept all major credit cards. A third of my truly questionable visits would/should use this and be gone. (I need a feature so they can bill it to their ever-present cellphone).
That leaves the remaining crush of patients. I don’t know if you’ve had this experience, but our ED has been wall-to-wall patients, literally. We have patients lining all the hallways, in beds: now, we’re running out of hallway space. Therefore, let’s go up! Stackable Patient Beds™, using those stand-on forklifts see in warehouse stores like Home Depot or Costco. I mean, with a zillion patients in the hall it’s not like anything’s going to happen quickly anyway, and expansion possibilities! The roof’s the limit!
Those are my considered solutions at the moment. I look forward to your constructive criticism.