Galen has quite the talent for tongue-in-cheek humor:  Galen’s Log: Use of Vancomycin in Loxosceles mersenius envenomation.

Despite intensifying research, Loxosceles mersenius remains an elusive  species.  Out of the 94% of patient reporting the spider bite, only 6 percent actually recall seeing a spider within a 48-36 hour window of noticing symptoms, and only a few samples have been submitted for research.  Detailed testing revealed the specimens to be mashed remains of garden variety house spiders, while another umbillical specimen turned out to be a benign (though albiet frightening appearing) collection of dark cotton/polyester blend fibers.

Though I don’t want to spoil the ending, not every human with an abscess has theirs caused by a spider bite.

It’s never good when you get an after-hours call from the ED you work in.  There I was, enjoying my day off, when my wife hailed me: "It’s Doctor Lantz on the phone".

Lantz: "Hey, uh, we’ve got you penciled in today for the 5 PM shift, in place of Dr. X".

Me, looking at watch and noticing it’s 5:25: "Oh, phoo."  Remembers discussing trade with X, but no details emerge.

Lantz: "So, you won’t be here 25 minutes ago?"

Me: "I’ll be there as soon as I can."

Fortunately for me, he’s a reliable guy and did an excellent job covering my absence.  This is one of the Cardinal Sins of the ER Doc.  You can have one about once a year and not show up on the radar, and that’s about my score to date.

Some of you are asking yourselves, "How can you forget to go to work?"  The answer is seven shift start times and no set pattern of shift days off or on, plus the inevitable trades.  That’s how.

So, yes, I screwed up and it bothers me.  Confession is supposed to be good for the soul, or the conscience, or something.