Panexa: Ask Your Doctor for a Reason to Take It


via HIPAA Blog:

IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION

PLEASE READ THIS SUMMARY CAREFULLY, THEN ASK YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT PANEXA AND HOW TO PROVIDE YOU WITH LARGE QUANTITIES. THIS ADVERTISEMENT DOES NOT TAKE THE PLACE OF ADVICE FROM YOUR DOCTOR; RATHER, IT PROVIDES YOU WITH NEW INFORMATION ABOUT NEW DRUGS YOU COULD BE USING.

PANEXA is a prescription drug that should only be taken by patients experiencing one of the following disorders: metabolism, binocular vision, digestion (solid and liquid), circulation, menstruation, cognition, osculation, extremes of emotion. For patients with coronary heart condition (CHC) or two separate feet (2SF), the dosage of PANEXA should be doubled to ensure that twice the number of pills are being consumed. PANEXA can also be utilized to decrease the risk of death caused by not taking PANEXA, being beaten to death by oscelots, or death relating from complications arising from seeing too much of the color lavender. Epileptic patients should take care to ensure tight, careful grips on containers of PANEXA, in order to secure their contents in the event of a seizure, caused by PANEXA or otherwise.

Hehe. Drug companies are amazing.


Comments

  1. Imagine this! The lengths they’d go to, just to sell their medicines…*LOL*

  2. Must thank you for that one. Hope you read the whole Panexa link. My own research indicates that reading acidachrome promanganate warnings may be associated with excessive tear-duct secretions, maxillary spasm, stomach pain and involuntary snorting and whimpering.