March 19, 2024

The ever-amusing Dr. Charles has given us a gift, a primer on assuming the mannerisms of a doctor: The Examining Room of Dr. Charles: How to Stand In for the Doctor

It was 3:00 PM on the Friday after Thanksgiving and I couldn’t see another patient. I had to go to the bathroom. The cold sweat on my forehead made me look like I was suffering from angina, or perhaps concealing a venomous snake under my white coat as it bit me repeatedly. In truth, there were four helpings of turkey, mashed potatoes, beets, stuffing, and a tubular can of “cranberry sauce” somewhere deep within me. They clamored for cool water.

Aside from that amazingly gentle euphemism, this is an excellent start on how to (not) be a doctor.