March 28, 2024

at 11PM:
“My chiropractor sent me for a PET scan”.

8 thoughts on “Best Chief Complaint of the night II

  1. Good one.

    How about the ones I had the other night?

    “bad sex”

    and

    “wants circumcision”

  2. Maybe it is just because I live in Arkansas. I had two squirrel attacks in one afternoon. The funny part is that when we sent the one deceased squirrel to the health dept for evaluation they had already recieved 4 dead squirrels that day that had attacked other people. When I asked the elderly gentleman why he thought the squirrel had attacked him he said that “we hunt them, so it is only fair that they take a few of us out also”.

    I love my job!

  3. I had a gentleman brought in a few weeks back with the following chief complaint (written as such on the top of the chart by triage): “Brought by TPD found at Circle K intoxicated, states he’s ‘Eating fucking rabbits'”.

    When approached by me, all he would say is “I keep eating fucking rabbits” over and over. What else could the triage nurse do but write that on the chart?

  4. A common Sunday complaint we get in Massachusetts is ” I need insulin and alcohol” (Mass. has “blue” laws, no alcohol sold on Sundays, so all the drunks have withdrawal seizures)

  5. After hurricane Katrina one traveling soul from biloxi, MS found his way to my california ER and had a broken 10mg dilaudid vial and stated he “needed a refill”

  6. When approached by me, all he would say is “I keep eating fucking rabbits” over and over.

    Sad, another good man lost to Elmer Fudd Syndrome.

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