Best Chief Complaint of the Night

I had another in the series recently:

“I feel all jittery and out of sorts.  I think somebody contaminated my crack with another drug.”

The patient couldn’t decipher why we weren’t interested in getting to the bottom of the drug-adulteration issue.


  1. John J. Coupal says:

    Sounds like a task for the Consumer Product Safety Commission (it’s for real!) to tackle.

    I’d love to read the consumer’s application to the Feds for an investigation.

  2. Probably Consumers Union would give a better, unbiased evaluation of this faulty product.

  3. First belly laugh of the day. Hopefully not the last! Nice one.

  4. For some reason that reminds me of when someone crashed into my wife’s car, hopped out, and said “Didn’t you see me making an illegal U-turn??!!”

  5. Sad but funny.