Patients Say the Darndest Things

This is from a colleague.  This is real Emergency Medicine:

I was dismissing a 70 year old lady with abd pain that my night doc had left for me.  Her lab work, x-rays and CAT scan were normal. When I told her this, she said  “I just want you to tell me why my butthole won’t open up and let my shit out.”

Direct and to the point.  Nice.


  1. Refreshing, really. So often it’s hard to know what’s on a patient’s mind. As in your post above. I think she should be in politics.

  2. Wow, that’s the best thing I’ve heard in a long time. I’m still grinning just thinking about it. Thanks!

  3. Ah, those elderly folk.

    Get right to the point, don’t they? : D