How do I get the doctor to prescribe a drug that will help me gain weight?

One of our techs approached me with this query, asked of her by one of my patients.

The tech, having worked in the ED for a while, did a little questioning of her own.
“How much do you eat”?
Well,  not much.
“Do you take any drugs”?
only crystal meth.
“I wouldn’t ask him for any prescription for medicine to gain weight.  I wouldn’t bring it up”.

A good tech is worth their, er, you know.  In gold, most nights.


  1. That’s like the 19-year-old I was discharging after four weeks in the hospital for a ruptured aneurysm who asked if she could go back to using Adderall to study and cocaine on weekends.

  2. TheNewGuy says:

    I always liked the ones who don’t drink or smoke, but cop to shooting up heroin or snorting cocaine.

    I guess some people don’t need no stinking gateway drugs.

  3. and some techs don’t need no communication skills classes. hurrah for intuitive support staff!