Guest Photo, and a Caption Contest

A reader wrote to offer a picture taken in his ED, and it’s not just an excellent photo, it begs for a caption contest!


His introduction to the photo: “Just walked in to start my shift at 6:30am and this was sitting on the counter…”


Joel Goldberg, MD Grand Rapids, MI

Photo courtesy Joel Goldberg, MD Grand Rapids, MI


As usual, the rules for a caption contest here: Put you submission in the comments, I decide the winner, and the prize is the pride you get from lording your superior captioning skills over the losers other submissions.  Polls close in a week, or when there’s a clear winner.


  1. Real Proof That Cigarettes Are Addictive!


  2. You should see his medicine cabinet….

  3. I’m looking forward to breakouts of creativity!

  4. Rite Aid: home for all your nicotine and pharmaceutical needs.

  5. Yeah, I quit taking all these so I can afford my smokes.

  6. But, Doc, I just recycled the box.

  7. I’m here for shortness of breath

  8. Damn.. My inhalers were all in the other box.

  9. “What was I supposed to do? The recycling bin was filled with booze bottles.”

  10. I can haz oxygen?

  11. “We’ve secretly replaced his cigarettes with a variety of lung cancer pills”

  12. Sorry, the formulary is very specific about the dose delivery mechanism. They only cover the pills.

  13. Ok, so the medicine cabinet is a little disorganized. But you should see my workshop!

  14. warriorpear says:

    Doc, I had to smoke 400 packs in order to get enough points for my Winston Med Case… man, but was it worth it?!

  15. drugs a la carton; pharmaceutical cornucopia; the photo is the response in the history where the patient says, “I take the white one”

  16. But, Doc, they aren’t as bad as the others. See the box says they are additive free. That means they’re better for me, right?

  17. Aerospace Genius says:

    Here it is, ladies and gentlemen: The self-defeating cure for cancer!

  18. Aerospace Genius says:

    It’s the complete NASCAR stress relief system!

  19. Matthew Valentine, MD says:

    “My chest pain started about an hour ago. I went outside and had a few smokes to see if it would get better. It didn’t, so I came here.”
    (Note – this may be cheating for the contest – a VA patient really told me that once).

  20. “Naturally smooth”

  21. Winston tastes good like a cigarette should. Morphine feels good as any opiate would.

  22. Had to have something to carry around my Wellbutrin, Chantix, Nicorette, Nicotrol, Nicoderm, and Commit lozenges…

  23. “Yeah, I got this’n from Dr. Gurley and this’n from Dr. Bates. That thar come from Dr. Rob. And them big ‘uns from Dr. Chen. Wait…wait…lemme see ’em. Nah, they come from Dr. Val. Ah git them purty docs mixed up. The box? Oh, just roun’ the house. I can quit anytime ya know…anytime.”

  24. “I swear Doc, I have told you about 10 times now, I do not smoke.”

  25. Pharmacy supplied free lunch, anyone?

  26. “Ok, let’s see if they’re all here — Theophylline, Mucinex, Spiriva, Tussionex, Claritin D, Levaquin, Xanax….did I forget my nicotine patches again??”

  27. No, Doc, I don’t think I want the patch, Don’t ya think I take enough meds? Look at all them in thar! Besides, I couldn’t afford the copay!

  28. “Free pill box with the purchase of 10 packs of Winstons!”

  29. Look, I am not addicted to cigarettes. I use to smoke those Marlboro’s, but since R.J.Reynolds came out with these healthy “additive free” smokes, I thought you would be happy I now only smoke ones that are good for me.”

  30. Can you get my dad into see a psychiatrist? He keeps lighting his pill bottles on fire and sucking on them and then he swallows a half dozen cigarettes every day with a glass of water.

  31. JimBob was surprised that the Git ‘N Go gas station wouldn’t take Medicaid to pay for his medicine. Even after he explained that The Card pays for everything.

  32. No, I don’t smoke. This is the original container the pharmacy gave me when I went to get my refills. They’re trying to stay away from plastic bags. The environment, you know…

  33. “Doc, I just don’t get it. For some reason I’m not feeling too good…”

  34. Canuck Med Student says:

    “I had to buy my cigs at Costco to get a box big enough to hold my oxygen tank!”

  35. “Nurse, you’re gonna have to tell that Doc. that I already pay over 200.00 a month for cigarettes. I can’t be payin another two hundred dollars just for some oxygen. Can he atleast write the prescription for generic? It does come in generic, right?”

  36. “This is MOST of my medication…but if ya want…someone else could bring the rest to ya. Ummm… do I know the names? Uhhh… not really… but I know the doc gets upset when I don’t take one of them. Nope…not sure why I take it but its a little brown pill. No…no list either. I figured you guys would know. :)”

  37. The pills will kill me quicker then the ciggies will.

  38. “S**T…I FORGOT my inhaler!”

  39. “More doctors choose Winston”

  40. “False Advertisement”

    I just notice the corner of the cig box … LOL it says ADDITIVE FREE… That funny all on it own… :)


  41. Finally an affordable addiction for the impoverished, Medicaid/Medicare population.

  42. North Carolina Prescription Drug Plan

  43. Nurse 1961 says:

    I take them to the senior center for their Pill parties.

  44. “S**T…I FORGOT my inhaler!”

    LOL…love that one….

  45. Out of concern for my health and the environment, I brought my expired meds so you can dispose of them for me. All those toxins are so unhealthy.

  46. Naw Doc, these are just the ones I take after my morning smoke. You should see the ones before bed but your security wouldn’t let me in with the Milwaukie’s Best box!


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