Another of life’s lessons, i.e., learn from the mistakes of others.
Plaxico Burress, apparently another incredibly gifted athlete with a 10 cent head, shot himself the other day. Understandably he went to get medical help, and that’s where the weirdness for this lesson started:
* Getting special treatment at New York-Cornell Hospital, where he gave his name as Harris Smith, saying he’d been shot at an Applebee’s restaurant. Nonetheless, hospital workers recognized him as Plaxico Burress, sources said, and the gunshot was not reported, as required by law.
The trio was logged in at 2:45 a.m. by a New York-Cornell security guard, according to records reviewed by the police. The facility is connected with The Hospital for Special Surgery – a popular choice among elite athletes, where Burress was once treated himself. He was out about 10 hours later.
Hospital workers recognized Burress and agreed not to report the incident to police, the sources said.
City and state officials plan to interview hospital administrators about the trauma-unit visit and how notification of police was mishandled.
(emphasis added by me)
I wouldn’t relish being the hospital spokesman in this circumstance, but even I could come up with something better than this laffer:
A hospital spokesman, for the second straight day, denied that Burress was treated there.
"There was nobody listed under that name," the spokesman, Bryan Dotson, said.
According to state law, failing to report a gunshot injury to cops is a class A misdemeanor. But when asked about the hospital’s reporting policies, the spokesman said, "I don’t know what the policy and protocol is on that."
You’d better get briefed on it; this isn’t going to go well for a lot of people there.
Best of luck, NY-Cornell. I suspect you’re going to need it.