Recently, saw a patient I’d seen the day before in the ED. Chief complaint: lost their prescription.
Me: what happened?
Pt: I lost my prescription for the pain medication. I think it was called hydrocodone.
Me: I see you have two medications in their bottles there. Those are the antibiotics I prescribed you yesterday?
Me: You realize all three of those prescriptions were printed out on the same piece of paper, right?
Me: Enjoy your tylenol.
I mean, really.